Mike and Teresa at Coyote Ugly + Avenue Q

01.01.2009

We went to go meet Teresa and Mike at the market down the street for breakfast. I had gotten up a little earlier and snagged a banana and juice, so I wasn't too hungry. However, I ordered an everything bagel with cheese and jam anyway.

We don't really have anything planned for today, except for Avenue Q. We decide to wander around Central Park and who knows where else. So, we pay for our meal, but while I was in the washroom, Keith and Mike are accosted by the waitress because they didn't leave enough tip. So far, we have found that tips are always added to bills automagically. So, it's weird that this lady is upset about not getting enough, I think.

Our breakfast place, is right down the street from Central Park, so we walk around for a while looking at squirrels and ducks and such. It's kind of a grey day, so it's not so exciting. We come to a pond that I instantly recognize. It's the place that kids use remote control boats on in the summer. I remember a couple of my friends and I falling asleep on the edge of it in grade 11, being mistaken for a homeless person, and waking up with a flyer that tells me where to go for free food and cheap lodging. Ha!

Anyway, I don't really know where Teresa and Mike plan on taking us, but our next stop is a famous Italian bakery, I think it's called Veniero's... It's beautiful inside! Stained glass windows and what is probably a lovely patio in the summer. Everyone gets some sort of dessert, Mike has a really disgusting mix of espresso and a whole bunch of various liqueur, blech! I get some steamed milk with an almond flavour shot, yum.

We walk around Times Square again, find out that the Virgin store is closing down, so we stop in there to find some deals. There aren't any, just deals on clothes, and I already have my I heart NY t-shirt, so I am uninterested. We lose Keith for a while, and later I find him downstairs contemplating some headphones.

So, off we go, to find something else interesting to do. Mike takes us to a famous square where they hold protests. I THINK it's Union Square, but I could have forgotten. This is what I get for writing my blog so late in the game!

We walk down 1st Ave. and suddenly what do our wondering eyes should appear. Coyote Ugly. Hilarious. I have never seen the movie, so I don't know what to expect from this place. You can see what's coming, can't you?

So anyway, the bar is empty and everyone goes to the washroom. I ask for a draught cider and then take it to a booth.

"No, no no, this is Coyote Ugly, you have to sit at the bar," says the hefty bartender, spilling out of her too tight shorts and tank top. "Um, OK, I guess." "I'm Jenna, who are you?" "...Louise..." Suddenly Kid Rock's "Cowboy" comes on the jukebox and she jumps up on the bar, swinging from the pipes in the ceiling and stomping around in her boots all over the place. It is difficult not to look at her. I try and avert my eyes and stifle my laughter.

Who in their right mind takes a job like this? Does she get paid by the dance? Is that in her job description? I can just see it... "Bartender, Coyote Ugly Saloon, Responsibilities include serving beer and spirits to customers, sweeping, mopping, cleaning tables and washrooms, dancing on the bar and wearing clothes that are too tight for you".

To me, even though she's wearing her clothes, it's the same as being a stripper. What have I gotten myself into today? By being complacent and indecisive, I find myself in a pseudo strip club with used bras hanging from the windows and a bathroom where the door has fallen off of the toilet stall. There is also a beautiful mural on the wall depicting a cartoon inebriated coyote sitting in a barrel with the caption "Don't just get drunk, get ugly", encircling his head like a halo. *sigh*

So, I take some time to contemplate my predicament in the washroom and decide to just embrace it and go with it. I've pretty much "done" everything in New York by this point in my life anyway. An afternoon in a dirty tourist trap isn't going to kill me.

Yes, so that is what we do. I try and ask "Jenna" if that IS her real name about her life before she came to New York, she expertly dodges my questions. Mike says she's definitely from the south. I wouldn't be surprised.

Before we know it, it's about 5 p.m. and we have to go get ready for Avenue Q! Mike and Teresa come with us to our room, where I have to pick up my credit card. I give it to Keith and then we go. For some reason, 10 minutes down the road, Keith says he doesn't have it, so we have to run back and find it again. He realizes he put it in his jacket after all so then we go back to the play, and make it, still a little early for the curtain call. I have no idea how far away we are, so I'm a little stressed out at this point. Teresa is marvelous and she gets us there very easily. Imagine if we didn't have our local friends to help us out! So we say goodbye and thank you to Mike and Teresa, hoping that they will come and visit me in Ottawa sometime. Maybe they'll stop in the TravelPod office for beer o'clock!

OK, so Avenue Q is pretty fun, just for the writing and the presentation of the show. But for over $100 per ticket, I'm not 100% sure if the actors aren't lip synching. Our seats aren't that far away, so I think it's kind of pathetic that I can't tell. If it's real, then the play is really well done, if not, then I am sad and disappointed. Either way, it's funny and entertaining, albeit slick (a little bit too slick) for my tastes.

So, after this we wander around Times Square looking for somewhere to hang out. We spend a little too much time in the M&M Store (???) just trying to figure out the POINT of it. Why here? Why M&Ms? Why would anyone pay $20 for a plastic statue of liberty M&M dispenser? Bizarre. I ask a couple random people if they "get" it, but they don't either. So that's a relief, I'm not the only one going crazy. At least not today.

We find the Cuban restaurant that Teresa recommended and after getting tired of walking around aimlessly, we go back to our hotel and eat the Chinese food leftovers, along with sushi and a grapefruit from the market around the corner.

Me vs. NY bagel