January 10, 2019, Huay Xai, Laos

10.01.2019 - 11.01.2019
View Laos and Thailand, 2019 on baixing's travel map.

January 10, 2019
I woke up at 4 a.m. to the sound of a mouse or a rat eating my apples! Oh my lord get out of there! I threw some nearby garbage at it. I tried to fall back to sleep but it was no good. I was listening for more mice.

At 6 a.m. we left for the bus station. I thought I heard rain, so I repacked my bag, and wore a lot of clothes, but I was wrong, there was no rain. I guess it had been raining so much, I just assumed it was still raining. I didn’t know what the world sounded like without rain anymore.

When we got to the bus station, they told us there was no bus today. Excuse me? Why did you sell me a ticket then? They gave me some money back and we got on a bus bound for the Lao border but no more.

On the bus, I tried to sleep, but it was no good. I kept thinking of different ways to get myself out of this mess I was in with Reiko and Masao. It was all my fault and I felt guilty. I couldn’t go on for two months acting as their tour guide and babysitter.

I had a friend in Luang Prabang, who I had met two years ago in Cambodia. Gustav would wait for me and then we’d go off on our own. I had planned it all out in my head. Reiko and Masao were very uncomfortable and their pained expressions constantly on their faces looked miserable. I believed it’d only get worse.

Anyway, we got to the checkpoint for leaving China and I was quite nervous about it. Every Chinese person we met was mentioning the 13 Canadians who had been detained in China as a result of political bickering. I was worried they’d fabricate something about me and I’d be stuck. But on the other hand, I’d be free of these people I brought with me. Ugh what a horrible thought. I was so desperate that I’d rather be interrogated and jailed than continue on this trip with them. Maybe it doesn't seem like it, but I cared about them a lot. They were really nice sweet old-fashioned Japanese people... but we just needed to break up. It wasn’t them, it was me.

The border guard looked intently at every single page in my passport. He asked me how long I’d lived in China, what the name of my school was, why I didn’t want to stay in China for my vacation, why my parents didn’t visit me in China, when I was going back to Jilin, how come I was such a young teacher (???) I realized he was just killing time as his boss sauntered over to look me up in the computer *gasp* Did they know I had a VPN so I could watch Youtube and Netflix? Did they know I regularly searched for foreign news on Google? I was extra nervous because a random guy at a bus station a few hours ago asked me direct questions about those exact things. Was he a spy??? I hadn’t admitted anything to him about my VPN and I was glad. There was nothing else they could accuse me of. He asked me if I was “escaping” China and I emphatically said no. After staring at the serious looking pair in silence for what seemed like centuries, they smiled and stamped my passport.

I exhaled and went outside where someone was pushing me into another van. They promised they were going to Huay Xai and I had no other choice but to believe them. 100 yuan seemed like an OK price for a 200 km trip through the mountainous jungle. I was safe from Chinese prison anyway.

We drove on muddy roads until we stopped at a little shack for lunch. I couldn’t find a way to buy anything with my Chinese money, and then I just gave up. Reiko thought I was starving and brought me a plate of plain rice. It totally broke me. I felt so guilty. They were so nice, but I couldn’t explain to them how lonely I felt. What is the point of travelling with people when every conversation is one-sided? They never tried to talk to me about anything, they only used their translation apps to ask questions and make complaints. I felt like a tour guide and just started crying at that little shack on the side of the road in Laos. I tried my best to translate my feelings, but it didn’t come out right. I walked back to the car and Masao tried to hug me, but it made me cry more. I hoped they wouldn’t be upset if I went with Gustav when we got to the city.

At Huay Xai, we got in a little truck, which brought us to our hotel.

Our first task was to get some Lao kip at the ATM. Two of them were empty of cash, but we found one and then paid for our boat ride to Luang Prabang leaving the next day. I had a nice dinner of green papaya salad, which I ate every chance I got thereafter. We tried to get a good sleep, picked up some snacks, and then got on the tuk tuk to the boat in the morning.