Stranded at Dulles airport

29.10.2009

I rushed from work ready to tackle the giant U.S. customs lines at the airport before my 7:20 p.m. flight to Washington.

I got there, sort of disappointed that there weren't any.

I flew through the screening process, faced no interrogation by the customs officer and waited around, patiently for about 1.5 hours only to find that my flight was delayed until 8 p.m.

Ohhhhhhh man. All of us crowd around the Air Canada booking agent guy, frustrated and wondering if we'll catch our connecting flights. Most people still will, but I'm left wondering about mine.

"Oh yeah, they'll hold the flight for you once you get there," the cool and collected African American man tells me with a tiny grin and a nod. I briefly sense a tiny bit of insincerity and bullshit sliding through the gap in his front teeth.

"Well, can you please make sure that my bags are transferred very quickly, like, flag them or something?" Everytime I go to the states, I lose my bags, no word of a lie.

"Oh yeah, for sure," and then he types something into the machine and I go back and sit down waiting for my flight to finally leave.

I decide to use the facilities and I have to tell you, I really have a beef with automatic toilets in airports. The toilets flushed not once, not twice, but FOUR times in one visit to the lavatory.

It turns out they needed to change the brakes on the plane from Ottawa to Washington, so we were delayed at least an hour and a half.

My plane to Pittsburgh leaves at 9:55 p.m., we slowly taxi into the airport at about 10:03 p.m. I run to the gate, only to be told that yes, of course, my flight has already left. Why on earth would they wait a few moments for a stranded Canadian to get on the plane?

Anyway, me and another guy from Cornwall (Ontario), Dwayne, are both stranded tonight. We are directed to the customer service line, where we are given a voucher for $15 for dinner, a stay at the Comfort Inn & Suites, and our boarding pass for tomorrow. I guess it's not THAT bad. I mean, I'd rather be stranded than be on a plane without any working brakes, right?

The problem comes however, with the clueless United Airlines staff sending us on a wild goose chase to our hotel.

"Go out these doors and then wait for your shuttle, it should come in 20 minutes."

OK, so we wait... and we wait. A half hour goes by and everyone but us has already found their shuttle.

We're out there all alone, so I decide to call the hotel and ask how long the shuttle runs. Of course, it doesn't run right now. Back inside to talk to United.

"Yes, of course, here is a voucher for a Washington Flyer, go out the door and make a left and then a right."

We follow the signs to the Washington Flyer bus, not the taxis. Mistake again. We wait for a while, I find a schedule that says the buses aren't running either at this time.

Back to the United desk.

"Nooooo, go straight right there, take a taxi!" A different lady from before tells us.

Grrrrr.... OK, I'm need a drink, I'm spending my food voucher. The only thing still open is Guava & Java, so I try to buy one of their famous guava juices. I have to spend all $15... on what? Some yogurt and fruit?

The guy behind me in line offers to pay me if I buy him a sandwich. Sweet. $7 for free!

Thanks guy behind me in line. I also order an orange juice for Dwayne.

Dwayne has gone ahead and ordered the cab, by the time I get back there it's there. Finally, we take the cab with an unresponsive man with a big grey beard.

We get to the hotel and it's nice and new, and pretty plush, thank you Air Canada. I guess.

I get to my room, can't resist catching a bit of Rambo on Showtime, drink some decaf and then promptly pass out.

Four flushes! One visit!