Get yo' Preak on!

14.05.2010

Ohhhh my what a crazy party Preakness is. If anybody tells you 1) it's too violent or 2) it's too wet/disgusting/dirty never ever listen to them.

If you like masses of people binge drinking themselves into oblivion, rocking out to amazing bands and getting sunburnt in the hot southern sun, this is the place for you.

I did not see any fights and the only thing disgusting was the close-to-overflowing porta potties.

This is how it goes. Basically there are cops EVERYWHERE directing all the white people through the huge slum that surrounds Pimlico racetrack. You cannot get lost. The cops do not want you to stray and get in trouble, so they are almost holding your hand as you board the shuttle bus and walk the (i'm guessing) 3 km into the track.

After you walk all the way from the shuttle bus into the "infield" the fun begins. We were part of the "mug club" which you can join for a $20 add on to your ticket. It gets you free Bud Light all day and a stylish red plastic mug with a Jagermeister keychain collar. I was so obsessed with not bringing a bag with me, that I completely forgot my ID. I managed to talk myself into getting a mug without it, and here's why. The line to get the mugs was not a line at all. A huge mob had formed outside the mug club and all of a sudden people started pushing their way through. The riot had begun. By the time I made it to the front, I had come up with all different kinds of schemes to get my mug without ID. Finally, it went like this:

"I'm from Canada, I forgot my ID!" I scream to the bracelet lady as I'm being pushed into the tent.

"No problem, what year were you born?!" She screams back.

"1981"

"Give me your wrist," and so I got my bracelet.

If we had been there at a less busy point in the day, I guess I would've missed out on my $20 worth of Bud. For shame!

So, the next mission was food for Owen. I already ate breakfast and was not enthralled with the fare for offer. Owen picked the food with the shortest line up, even though the jambalaya looked pretty freaking awesome. Chicken fingers.

Mission #2: Find out when Collective Soul is playing.

Easy enough, some people are already there at the front of the stage. 2:30. No problem, it's only 1:45.

Mission #3: See at least one horse race. We go and find the edge of the infield, which is next to impossible. People have caution tape up around staking their claim on the earth. They get there early, but I don't think that entitles them to "own" a 5x5'' plot of land for the day. Whatever.

Two seconds pass and I almost miss the horses running by. I see them go by in a plume of dust.

Mission #4: Go watch Collective Soul. Awesome. What'shisname's voice sounds exactly the same and they play all the songs that you'd expect. Shine, Gel, World I Know, etc. etc.

A guy in front of me keeps saying "Did you see that?! He looked at us!"

"Yep, awesome." Hahaha.

Then we went over to see O.A.R. I don't really know them that well, but they have that one song Scattered on the radio. So I wasn't expecting much. Holy crap was I wrong. They were a great jam band. These southern folk really know how to put on a party.

Mission #5: Try and use a porta potty. There is not so much of a long lineup for the washrooms, but the most amazing thing is that as you are standing there, you can literally watch the horses run the race around you.

Mission #6 Make it home safe. Haha. Again, the police might as well hold our hands and lift us up onto the bus. We know exactly where to go, but still they block us off from straying into the projects.

Mission #7: Find some oysters. This one didn't pan out, unfortunately. The line was too long and we were too hungry, so instead we went to Pubdog and ordered an insanely delicious mustard and chicken pizza.

And that is the end of the crazy amazing long day at the Preakness.

Me and Owen on the Metro